My Dysfunctional Family

What a disappointment. After six or seven years of not speaking to my 77-year-old mother, I finally could resist no longer...so I had my husband call from our computer line(Skype).

Last time I spoke to mom, we both got mad and hung up after my "sweet" daughter Ashley went back to Iowa spreading nasty rumors and lies to everyone; in-laws and out-laws. Rumors that my husband and I were both drinking and partying and God knows what all else.


Boy, a lot sure can happen in six or seven years, let me tell you...my only son was married and divorced to his high-school sweetheart, Kelly, my daughter has made me a grandmother twice, and my ex-grandmother in-law now has Alzheimer's disease. And that's not all by any means. My dad no longer has use of his bladder and my mom has liver disease and diabetes besides her other ailments.

My mother expressed contempt for her grandaughter (my daughter) who lives with a man who wont work and therefore she receives welfare. Apparently her boyfriend is the shiftless, worthless sort who is unwilling to work or support his family.

My mother seems to me to be a hypocrite herself since she received welfare when she took me to court and had my son taken away from me back in 1986. Once she had my son, the state of Iowa was sending her posh checks for him every month; so much so that she quit her job and stayed home with him! I doubt that Brandon even knows of these things; my mom and dad both spent years brainwashing him to despise me.

What kind of a family could do such horrible things to each other? A family that has its roots in a religious cult that fostered hate, bitterness, and resentment.

Even now I detected bitterness in the old woman's voice. Regardless, I don't hold anything against her or dad; I just want to forgive and find some kind of peace. I have decided not to let the past hold me in bondage. Bitterness and unforgiveness is bondage; they are invisible chains.

My concern for mom and dad's well-being was not phony; for years I had wanted to write or call but couldn't bring myself to do it in the face of more rejection.

Rejection hurts. Especially when it follows you all your life and in every situation and in every relationship.

Growing up in a cult, I experienced rejection from other kids at school who were not like me. Later, in church(cult), I experienced rejection because I broke out of their mold and had a baby out of wedlock at 17. Later, the boy's dad was killed in a car accident, and my first husband left me for other women. After becoming an alcoholic and losing both of my kids, rejection just multiplied and loomed ever larger.

The Atheistic Attitude

I am reluctant nowadays to talk about my religious beliefs with those who call themselves atheists; all they do is rehash old arguments(using apologetics) and try to destroy my faith. This is not good and just seems to tear down a person's morale in the end. Atheists are not objective but instead are very biased toward their unbeliefs; therefore, I have decided that atheists are not logical thinkers. They will not concede issues when they are refuting apologetics or whatever and get proved wrong. Instead, they resort to below-the-belt tactics and using all kinds of insulting insinuations.

I would be willing to share my experiences concerning these issues but only with those who are reasonable.